I am not cut out for this 'Online' world

There has been a trail of strange things happening to Me lately.

Recently I received a call out of the blue from a man who had contacted Me and disappeared without continued contact. During our meeting he expressed that he was masochist who loved to be caned and flogged.

Naturally I was very excited a few months ago about the prospect, but when he vanished without contact afterwards, I assumed that he was just a player and was not a true masochist.
In my silliness I assumed that there was something that I may have done that did not left a good impression with him.

Silly Me. ~giggles~

I always do My best to be honest in all things so I know that I did nothing wrong during the meeting. Honesty includes not only how I view things, but for Me to admit if there is any fetish or implement that I am not experienced with.

I have canned many times, but never to the point of blood. I have flogged enough to where every stroke is precise and measured.

There are many things that I am an expert with. However, there are things that I do not know well enough. If you give Me some rope and ask Me to suspend you....well that wont happen. I would rather use cuffs and hooks and a suspension rack.

Rope happens to be a weak spot for Me. I am not ashamed to admit that there are things that I am still learning and things that I do not know.

I am also not afraid to admit that yes, I have canned a person, but never reached the intensity that I desired...to draw blood.

I don't think that it has anything to do with not knowing how to cane a person to that extreme. The real reason is due to the fact that almost every client that I have seen has pussied out before I managed to reach that point. Not to mention all of the excuses and reasons why they can not be marked.

Ughhh!!!!! How frustrating it is!!

Since the temporary closing of My website I have seen a decline in sessions. So I have been drawing from other sources of new income such as Camming and Nitefirt.

At first I expected the income to
be easy money and that it would be relatively easy to do. Of course I assumed that since I am accustomed to getting what I want in life as the Dominant Professional that it would just naturally just BE there at My feet.

I will not lie...

It has been at times incredibly hard work!

I am a Lady that men jump through hoops to see in person. I am well known pro Dom in the community and in My area.

When I produce and announce Myself on-line I am not exclusive. I become available to the masses.

I become what ever first impression they have in their mind. I am not known to them nor am I infamous.
Everything that I am and have done has been real and face to face Domination only.

Suddenly I was a no one in the cam world. The men who were fortunate to view Me did not understand just how fortunate they were to view Me. They seemed to have no clue who I was. In fact, they rarely took the time to read My profile, let alone recall that they had entered a Dommes Room

It is a fact that men associate 'camming' with some sort of sexual act of some kind. I found that submissives were rare to even find at times and received a lot of disrespect constantly.

So there I was, baffled by all of the lack of respect and the fact that I was a nobody to them.
Even with the negative experiences I continued to cam and pushed forward. I know who I am and I also am quite confidant as a Mistress and Superior. If I was going to be there, I would wait for the real submissives that exist to find My room so that I can see if they were worthy to be trained via cam (with them paying of course)

I soon came to find out that true submissives were far and few. If there were ANY real submissives they did not come to that site often.

I also started a Niteflirt page.
Now Niteflirt has its ups and downs. The down side is that there are hundreds of girls on there fighting for a top position. There is a lot of competition. When I say competition (mind you) I mean women that have been on there for years. They are the easiest to find because they have received so many calls.

I am doing OK there, however, its not enough to survive on and I miss the realtime sessions that I had constantly.

Being on Niteflirt makes Me wonder just how many 'Real-time' Dommes are on there. I know that there are some, but to Me, My Domination is best done face to face.

I am adapting to each call as they come, but I yearn to hold that flogger instead of talking about it. I yearn to slap that whore instead of playing some silly game of 'Lets talk about it'

I am not on Niteflirt to play games. I am there to have it as another way of income. I also have hopes that there are some real submissives who truly want to submit themselves and dedicate themselves in what ever manner pleases Me.

Truth is that it has been these 'wanna-bes' who have took control over the calls and I know it.

Continuously talking about their fetishes and their lives.
Who gives a fucking SHIT about all of their dreams to be Dominated and have their balls crushed.
I want to yell...

SHUT THE FUCK UP QUIT TALKING ABOUT IT AND DO IT!

Who am I kidding?

I make almost two dollars a minute to hear them gab on and on. So I let it go.

I have not had any luck with having a caller really devote themselves to Me. I am not an online-phone Domme.

Yes, I am perfecting it. However, there are two sides to why the luck just has not been there!

The other side is that I have not had a submissive to call that was not selfish and full of shit!

Even with that said I am not giving up on Niteflirt.

All of those pages will soon reflect Me and who I am better than it does now.

I am a fierce woman and soon those listings will reflect it.

So yes. There are days that I think 'What the fuck am I doing?"

Then I realize that no one knows Me online. They do not know that I am intuitive, skilled, and very intelligent.

They have never felt the power of the pain that I can create.

Now I know that if I am to leave an impression online, it will have to be done from expression of words not said but written.

The passion will have to be felt inside from a readers perspective, and not on the outside of skin.

My Superiority will have to radiate from Me and OOZE through the screen of a PC.

No. Maybe I am not cutout to be a 'Online Domme'
But I am 'cutout' as ME which makes Me way ahead of all the others 'Online Dommes'
I am unique and talented. It is some of thes 'Online Dommes' who seem to be mass pro-ducted paper dolls that children play with.

And that makes Me on step ahead of the 'game' of ONLINE Domination.

I am no 'game'

And I am not here to play.......

At least until I find a few worthy boys to toy with. ;)

After that.. then it IS game on!

Kisses

Veronica deVille